Changing Her
by Swingflip
Summary: “I can’t kill her, I can’t,” he said. “I won’t. And neither will any of you.” Edward is having trouble with the thought of Bella never blushing again...


I don't own anything Twilight or Twilight related…

Edward was fuming when he got home from Bella's. Not at her – but at his family. They were all against him, except for Rosalie. They were all for Bella being changed, all for her eternal damnation. Edward, on the other hand, wasn't so eager for that to happen.

His family was waiting in the living room when he got home. Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie. His temper flared but he kept his control – he didn't want to say anything to them. He didn't have anything to say to them.

"Edward, don't be angry." Esme said softly. "We just want what's best for you, and what's best for Bella."

"Damning her life isn't exactly what's best for her," Edward said, gritting his teeth. "She deserves to have a normal, human life; not the eternal life we live."

"She deserves love, " Alice said. "She loves you, Edward. Just as much as you love her. Just as she is your world, you are hers."

"We can still be together without her being a vampire," he said tightly.

"She doesn't see it that way," Emmett said. "She doesn't want to be older than you."

"If you don't change her, she will find someone else to do it," Jasper spoke up.

"You know she will do anything to be with you!" Alice exclaimed. "If you don't change her she will gladly put herself in danger to find a vampire who will. She will go to Italy and ask the Volturi, or she will try going to Denali or any of the places we have told her we have friends. She is a willing participant, Edward. She wants this, more than anything, and she isn't going to stop until she is changed, or dies trying!"

"Stop it, Alice!" Edward yelled. He put his hands over his eyes, exhaling loudly. "I will not change her, end of story! I will not allow her life to be taken away! I want her to live a happy, healthy, human life. If she wants to be with me, I will gladly be with her until she dies of old age. But I am not going to allow her to live such an awful existence! She deserves so much more," he whispered. "She doesn't deserve to live like me." He melted to the floor, sitting with his head cradled in his hands. The sound of his choked, tearless sobs were the only sounds heard for a long time.

"She doesn't deserve to be let down, either." It was Carlisle, sitting down on the floor next to his son. "You told her you would love her forever, and that is exactly what she wants from you. She can't imagine life without you, or a life with you where she grows old but you never age. She wants to be like you Edward, to be on the same level as you. She wants you to be happy – to never be lonely again. She can't stand the thought of you killing yourself because she died."

"I can't let her lose her soul for me."

"Edward, if you didn't have a soul you wouldn't care this much about Bella. You wouldn't love her as much as you do."

"If I had a soul I wouldn't have even gotten involved with her in the first place," he mumbled.

"Excuse the terms, but you're only human. Even the most selfless people can be selfish sometimes. You're never selfish. You never have been. Even with Bella you aren't. She stole your heart, and you have never made her give it back. You allow her to keep it, and no matter what happens you know you will never take it back."

"It's not fair," Edward whispered. He let go of his face, turning his eyes on Carlisle. Astonishingly, they were filled with tears. "It's not fair that I'm a monster. It's not fair that monsters exist. We shift reality. We ruin everything. Just like I ruined Bella's life. If vampires never existed…" he trailed off. "Werewolves would have never existed either. She would be with Jacob right now, and they would get married and have a bunch of cute little kids. They would have a house, with a white picket fence and a dog. Jacob wouldn't turn into a wolf, or sparkle in the sun and live off human blood. They would be a perfect little family," he spit out bitterly. "But that's never going to happen." Tears were streaming down his marble cheeks. "All because of me."

Carlisle reached out and pulled his son into his arms, holding him close. "You can't change the way the world works, Edward. Creatures exist, yes, but not all of us are monsters. You, for one, are certainly not a monster. A monster would not be able to love as you do. You love Bella more than I have ever seen anyone love another person. And it's especially significant because she is a human. Edward, you defy the odds. You have been able to hold back your vampire instincts on a human, and you have managed to fall in love with her. It is even more odd because her blood sings for you as it does. A monster would not love a human as you do. Yet she holds your heart, and as much as you don't like to admit it, you hold hers."

Edward shook his head, pulling away from his father to stand up. "I can't kill her, I can't," he said. "I won't. And neither will any of you."

Esme stepped forward, pressing her hands to his cheeks. "No, we won't," she said. "We will respect your decision." She pulled him into a hug, holding him close for a moment. When she pulled back, she ran her finger across his cheek, collecting a tear. "You're the first vampire I've ever seen produce tears."

Carlisle stood, taking a look at the tear on his wife's finger. "You are truly remarkable, Edward," he said in awe.

"I think Bella brings out the human in me." Edward wiped his fingers across his cheeks.

"Well, you definitely feel things much more strongly than the rest of us, that's for sure," Jasper laughed, coming over to put his hand on his brothers shoulder.

Edward smiled. "Ever since I met her…I've been more human than I've been in a hundred years."

"Just another reason to keep her," Emmett said, walking over to join the party. "She's already great, especially when she's klutzy, and you just keep adding better reasons."

Alice's voice came tinkling through the light laughter. "But Edward…just promise that you will keep changing her an option. I see visions, and…I'm not happy about what I see."

Edward ducked his head, seeing visions of an unhappy, sick, tired, angry, even a dead Bella through Alice's mind. He raised his eyes to find Alice's, a frown on his pale white face. "It will…remain an option. But not for right now. There is still plenty of human life left for her to live."

Alice squealed, running over and throwing herself into her brothers arms. She kissed his cheek, squeezing him tightly. Her laughter was like a bell tinkling above them. Smiling, Esme reached out to stretch her arms around both of them. Jasper joined in, and then Emmett was holding them all in his gigantic arms. Carlisle was pulled in next, smiling as he settled in for a group hug with his family.

Emmett looked over at his wife, who was sitting on the couch staring at the blank television. "Come on, Rose! Join in!"

She turned, frowning. "No thank you," she answered coolly.

" Come on," Emmett pleaded. "I know you don't want Bella to be changed, but this isn't about that. This is about Edward being happy."

"It's about family, about all of us being happy together," Esme said quietly.

Rosalie sighed, running her fingers through her hair. She yelped as Jasper ran out, picked her up, and then deposited her in the middle of the group. "Okay, okay, fine," she said as Jasper and Emmett wrapped their arms around her. "I'm happy that Edward is happy."

Emmett made a loud smacking noise as he kissed her cheek. "I love you! In fact, I love all of you! All of you crazy, freaky vampire people!"

Alice growled playfully, launching herself at Emmett. He caught her, flinging her at Carlisle, who instinctively caught her and then tossed her over to Esme. Esme hugged her close for a moment and then threw her to Edward, who lobbed her across the room into the couch. Not even a second later Alice and Edward had both jumped at Jasper, who had dodged them but ran into the stairs. Carlisle was suddenly there, taking Jasper and tackling him into Rosalie.

"Hey, hey!" Esme yelled loudly, unnecessarily. "Outside, please! We do not need to destroy the house again!" She was about to continue but was cut off by Alice picking her up and running outside with her.

With a laugh the rest of the family followed, zooming outside into the fresh air to have some fun just being a family.

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